There is a certain way we have come to expect elderly women to dress. The hair, the clothes, the shoes. But of course there are the exceptions from the strange to the outrageous, to the “is your mirror broken because if you had a recently looked in one you may have noticed you are no longer in your twenties.” There is this elderly woman at my church and when I say old I mean probably around 70 and not just someone who is older than me. In fact she is old enough that when the man next to her moved to go to the restroom she assumed it was time to approach the altar and she set off, before been pulled back by her daughter.

On the best of Sundays she dresses fairly outrageously for a woman of advancing years. She seems to have a particular liking for crazy animal prints. Her favourite seems to be her leopard print tights. Then there is the crazy array of jumpers that no one in their right mind would ever wear. Well today is Palm Sunday and I am guessing she felt she needed to get all dressed up for this special occasion. I think she got a little confused as she was dressed more like a bride than for the red of Palm Sunday. She did, however, manage to reach a whole new level of craziness. She has long, straight, white hair, which is not very old lady like at all. Today her outfit matched her hair, well not the long part, just the white part. She wore white shoes, white pearls and white stockings. Now brace yourself for it. You might want to sit down and stop eating if you are nibbling while you read. The main component of her scary ensemble was a white, body hugging dress that barely made it past her…..well you know that area that no one wants to see in a lady of her age. I feel ill just typing this.